Question 1

What is a MIAM?

Accepted Answer

This is an initial separate Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with the mediator. We provide you with a detailed explanation of the key principles of mediation and explain how family mediation works in practice at this meeting. We discuss additional dispute resolution options with you such as arbitration, private FDR (financial dispute resolution) hearings and child inclusive mediation and carry out a risk assessment to ensure that it is safe and appropriate to mediate in your circumstances.
 
On the 6th of April 2011, the Government issued a pre action protocol that required anyone wishing to issue an application in the family courts to attend MIAM. There are exceptions where there is evidence of domestic violence or child protection issues/welfare concerns, in which case exemptions will apply. However, you cannot be forced to mediate; it is a voluntary process.

Please read my blog here for more details on understanding the first step in family mediation and 'What is a MIAM?'

Question 2

What should I expect at a MIAM?

Accepted Answer

You must attend as MIAM before issuing a family law application unless you are exempt in line with pre-action protocol under the existing Family Proceedings Rules.

The MIAM is an initial separate assessment meeting to assess if mediation is a safe and suitable option for the parties to resolve their disputes. It takes around 45 – 60 minutes and is conducted by a virtual meeting via Zoom for a fixed price of £150.00.

The participants must complete and submit an initial mediation information form in advance of the meeting confirming key facts and relevant background information for the mediator to consider and review prior to the meeting.

At the MIAM Sushma will find out more about the circumstances of the family breakup and issues that need to be resolved. She will confirm the various non-court dispute resolution options available to resolve family disputes outside the court forum as set out here in a flow chart published by Resolution.

Sushma will also carry out a safety screening exercise to establish if mediation is a safe and suitable forum to resolve issues. If not suitable for family mediation, the participants can consider and review the other options discussed to enable them to decide how best to proceed with their case.

The requisite signed form (‘MIAM certificate’) will be issued electronically to the participants/their lawyers if not suitable or if mediation breaks down/fails to resolve all issues to attach to any proposed court application to evidence the pre-action protocol has been followed prior to issuing a court application.

If mediation is suitable and both parties are willing to mediate (NB: mediation cannot be imposed; it is a voluntary process) a joint 90-minute Zoom meeting will be scheduled on a mutually convenient date and time upon purchase of the first joint mediation session at a cost of £187.50 per party.

Question 3

Can we have a joint initial assessment meeting/MIAM?

Accepted Answer

Holistic Family Mediation does not offer joint initial assessment meetings (MIAM). Each party is required to book and pay for a separate MIAM online to allow for a full assessment as to suitability.

Question 4

Do I have to attend a MIAM/What are the exemptions?

Accepted Answer

In certain circumstances you may be exempt from attending a MIAM like (not an exhaustive list) :

You are already in the court system for the matter in dispute;
You are in agreement and wish to apply for an order by consent;
There is evidence of domestic/financial abuse/violence;
There is significant child protection concerns with the engagement of the Local Authority and a care plan in place;
Urgent application needs to be made without notice to the other party;
You have attended a MIAM within the last 4 months for the same dispute etc.
 
Please see the Government guidelines here for detailed information on valid reasons not to attend a MIAM. If you have a lawyer, they will let you know if any of the exemptions apply to your case. If so, you can by-pass this step and proceed with a court application.

Question 5

How many sessions will we need?

Accepted Answer

A lot will depend on the number of issues that you need to resolve. If the issues are limited to say, discussing and agreeing the children’s arrangements then this can be sorted out in as little as one or two mediation sessions.
 
If the issues are more complex, mediation could take longer to help you resolve all or most of the issues. For an all issues case, you may need five or six mediation sessions. 
 
Discrete unresolved issues can be referred onto other forms of dispute resolution like arbitration, if both parties agree.

Question 6

What will we talk about during the family mediation?

Accepted Answer

The agenda is set by you and your ex-partner. This is one of the major benefits of mediation. We can discuss any issues about your separation, divorce, children, finances and property.  Often issues about communication, boundary setting or incidents relating to the breakup of the relationship/marriage are key issues that you may wish to discuss and agree upon before moving on to substantive issues on the children’s arrangements/sharing and dividing of property and finance. We can prioritise the issues according to your needs and requirements.

Question 7

Is family mediation aimed at trying to save our marriage, like counselling?

Accepted Answer

No. Family mediation is not about saving marriages/relationships. It is about dealing with issues that arise out of the breakup in the least self-destructive way possible, allowing for ongoing communication between the parties. Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution. It empowers the separating couple to make their own informed decisions about the various issues that may arise as a result of the marriage/relationship breakup. It is future-focused.

Question 8

Is family mediation legally binding/ do I need a court order?

Accepted Answer

No. Any agreements reached through the help of the mediation service is not legally binding. If both parties agree, a without prejudice document can be prepared known as a 'memorandum of understanding' (‘MOU’) based on the outcome of mediation. An application can be made to the court to convert the MOU into a court order, which would then be legally binding. This would be undertaken by your lawyers who will give legal advice on the tentative terms agreed in mediation.
 
Please note that is not usual for couples reaching resolutions on child/ren arrangements to seek a legally binding court order once agreement is reached in mediation as the Children Act 1989 is governed by the 'no order' principle. The parties may choose to formalise agreements reached in mediation with the prepartion of a parenting plan. 
It is however, very important to work closely with your lawyers to help you convert any financial tentative agreements into a legally binding court order to ensure that the term are enforceable and to provide a clean break/pension sharing order where this has been agreed.

Question 9

What is Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM)?

Accepted Answer

Child Inclusive Mediation can give the children a voice.  It involves a family mediator, who is trained as a child consultant, talking with a child or children as part of the mediation process.
During mediation the mediator, parents, or indeed the child/ren may suggest that they be involved in the mediation process.  It is important that parents understand the wishes and feelings of their child/ren and involving them in direct consultation may be the appropriate way forward.  Children like to be informed and appreciate having options identified for them and their views heard but not to be responsible for the overall decision making.
Involving children in mediation can be complex. A lot of preparation is needed before a mediator speaks to a child.  Different considerations apply according to the age and maturity of the child.  It is only possible with the consent of both parents and the child or children in question and where the mediator feels it is appropriate considering all the circumstances. 
Direct consultation means the child will talk with a mediator in person (or maybe by virtual platform) separately and in complete confidence from anyone else including the parents (subject of course to the usual safeguarding exceptions). 
The mediator may be the same mediator who is dealing with the parents or a different mediator. Sushma is not currently qualified to carry out CIM so will co-work with another mediator who is qualified for CIM. There will be additional costs for this service, usually around £500.00.  In many cases, children wish some of their views to be shared with their parents to aid the decision-making process and this will be relayed with the child's permission.
These consultations last approximately 45 to 60 minutes. Usually, CIM is appropriate for children aged 10 and above.

Question 10

What is Mediation - All issues, first joint session?

Accepted Answer

This is a joint 90-minute online mediation session to commence the mediation process covering all issues relating to your relationship/marriage break up including child arrangements, financial issues and any other 'soft issues' like boundary setting and communication difficulties that you need help and support with. Click here to book.

Question 11

What is Mediation - Children only, first joint session?

Accepted Answer

This is a joint 90-minute online mediation session to commence the mediation process relating to child/ren arrangement issues only. Click here to book.

Question 12

What is Mediation - Finances only, first joint session?

Accepted Answer

This is a joint 90-minute online mediation session to commence the mediation process relating to financial issues arising out your relationship/marriage break up. Click here to book.

Question 13

What is Mediation - Follow-up session?

Accepted Answer

This is a joint 90-minute online mediation session following the first mediation session. Pay as you-go. Buy as many or a few sessions as are needed to help you resolve all or some of the issues arising out of your relationship/marriage break up. Click here to book a follow-up session.

Question 14

What if mediation breaks down or after starting the process it is considered, no longer fair and suitable?

Accepted Answer

If one or both of you decide that mediation is counter-productive and not helping you resolve issues than you can opt to end mediation. The mediator will issue the requisite signed form(s) that is needed to start the court process and/or other dispute resolution options can be explored as an alternative to court.

If the mediator has concerns regarding ongoing suitability and fairness of the process after mediation starts, the process will be terminated upon the mediator confirming reasons why mediation can no longer proceed e.g., if one party or both persist on being 'bullish' and/or are continuously disrespectful in the sessions. As above, other dispute resolution options can be explored and if required, the mediator will issue the requisite signed form(s) that is needed to start the court process.

Question 15

Can you get a divorce with just a mediator?

Accepted Answer

Yes, you can get a divorce with just a mediator but please note that the mediator will not complete and submit the divorce application on your behalf; Sushma will be able to guide you on the process and law applicable to support you in submitting your own divorce application. There is guidance on how to do get a divorce without hiring a lawyer here.
With the new ‘no fault divorce’ coming into place in April 2022, it is likely that most divorcing couples will deal with the divorce application themselves on a joint or sole basis via the online divorce platform without the aid of a family lawyer

Question 16

Can a mediator draft a separation agreement?

Accepted Answer

A mediator cannot prepare a separation agreement but can prepare a document setting out the tentative terms agreed in mediation known as a ‘Memorandum of Understanding’ (MOU).

The MOU is a ‘without prejudice’ document that summarises the understandings reached in mediation. The outcomes are not legally binding on the parties until each party has had time to reflect and opportunity to seek independent legal advice on the tentative terms agreed. It is the lawyers’ job to help convert tentative agreements into legal binding court orders if this is considered necessary and appropriate.

Question 17

What is the government family mediation voucher scheme?

Accepted Answer

The family mediation voucher scheme is a time-limited scheme, designed to support parties who may be able to resolve their family law disputes outside of court.

The Government set up the scheme in response to Covid-19 to support recovery in the family court and to encourage more people to consider mediation as a means of resolving their disputes, where appropriate. To support this, a financial contribution of up to £500 towards the costs of mediation will be provided, if eligible.

The Ministry of Justice has formally confirmed the continuation of the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme for the 2026/27 financial year.

Only mediators authorised by the Family Mediation Council (FMC) are taking part in the voucher scheme. Holistic Family Mediation is authorised.
 
You will be asked to confirm that you have:
asked the mediator to apply for the voucher
not already applied for another voucher as part of the same scheme
given consent to your mediator providing your necessary information to the Family Mediation Council. This includes your name, the bill for mediation services you receive from the mediator and some basic information about your case.
We will provide you with the forms to complete and sign.

Data collection
You will be requested to complete a short monitoring questionnaire. This is optional.
We will be required to provide some information about your case, such as if you reach an agreement and if you asked the court to formalise an agreement. The data will be anonymised before being used to give information about the way the voucher scheme and the mediation services were used.

Question 18

What if my partner is not willing to attend family mediation?

Accepted Answer

Mediation cannot be imposed or enforced. It is a voluntary process. Your partner can be directed to attend a MIAM but cannot be forced to mediate. If mediation is assessed as suitable and you both agree to take part it can be stopped by either you, your ex-partner or the mediator. If we believe that one of you is unable to take part freely and fully in the process, then this will be raised as a concern.
 
We may suspend or end the mediation at any stage if doubts arise as to the ongoing suitability of mediation. In cases where mediation is not suitable, we will explain to you and your ex-partner the other options open to you both to sort out your disputes. 
 
We will complete and send out relevant forms that you will need to bring to your lawyers' attention, providing evidence that you have attended a MIAM to allow you to continue your case through the traditional court route or other dispute resolution options with the advice and support of your lawyers. We will also recommend other professional services that may be helpful to you both.

Question 19

Is family mediation confidential?

Accepted Answer

Yes, mediation is a confidential process. However, confidentiality and privilege will not apply if it appears that a child or other person is suffering or likely to suffer significant or serious harm. Also, arrangements for confidentiality and privilege will not apply if information is shared with us about any intention to commit an unlawful or criminal act. In such circumstances, disclosure will need to be made to the relevant authorities.

Question 20

Do you offer shuttle mediation?

Accepted Answer

No, I'm sorry I only offer the traditional model of mediation where we are all together on the virtual platform/room via Zoom.

For me personally, practicing shuttle mediation has not proven to be effective but I know in some instances where there is the inability to face the other party/share space that this option maybe preferred. There are plenty of other services/mediators that offer shuttle mediation, if this is your preferred option. I suggest you carry out a google search to find a suitable shuttle mediator that can be of service to you.

Shuttle mediation permits the mediator to meet with the participants separately. The parties are in separate rooms (virtual or physical building) and the mediator shuttles between the two rooms back and forth in an attempt to mediate between them.

Question 21

What is an Open Financial Summary (OFS) &Memorandum of Understanding (MOU)

Accepted Answer

The OFS - Open Financial Summary is a document setting out on an open basis, a summary of your respective financial positions as disclosed in your Form Es with a list of the financial documents exchanged between you and your ex-partner. This will need to be signed and dated by both parties once finalised and agreed.

The MOU - Memorandum of Understanding is a privileged document setting out on a ‘without prejudice’ basis, a summary of the terms of agreement reached within the mediation process. This document will be signed and dated by the mediator alone as record of what took place in mediation.
 
These combined documents can prove to be invaluable for the purposes of securing legal advice on the terms agreed and converting agreements into legally binding orders

However, these documents are not always needed especially if you and your ex-partner request interim without prejudice summaries to be prepared in support of your mediation (preparation time is charged at the hourly rate of £250) as such summaries (with draft financial spreadsheet for financial mediation where disclosure takes place within mediation)  are often used to share with lawyers/other professional advisers to secure legal/financial advice and to help with drafting of legally binding orders, if terms are agreed in mediation.

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Question 22

What is a Parenting Plan?

Accepted Answer

This is a statement that sets out your joint commitment and hopes for how you will parent together even though you are now living separtae and apart.

Please note that parenting plans do not hold ‘evidential weight’ in any future court proceedings; it is a voluntary document that records your parental aspirations, plans and arrangements.

CAFCASS have a great toolkit to prepare your own Parenting Plan. Click here for details.

Question 23

Do I need a lawyer to attend with me?

Accepted Answer

No. However there are different models of mediation and where both parties agree that their respective solicitors should be involved in the mediation process then this may be acceptable in more complex cases. Usually, parties do not invite their lawyers to join the session as this will increase costs substantially as payment will need to be made to the lawyers’ for their time in attending mediation sessions. This option would only be available where both parties have lawyers and both agree to the lawyers attending mediation sessions.

FAQs

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